RUINS OF CHILDHOOD is an excavation and recontextualisation of Tim’s 20th Century.

FROM MY MY VIDEO TO MY MEMOREX: Kidd Video 01(Childhood Ruins)png

‘80s cartoons gave us the most memorable, hummable and “Woo-hoo-able” ear worms of all time. So imagine if these tunes escaped their syndicated patterns and took up residence on an album of that era. But which recording artists would have even been capable of harnessing such jingles for Casey Kasem’s countdown? And would that be payola, given Hanna Barbara’s payroll?

Press play on the following to hear just such a mix tape.

5) HEATHCLIFF AND THE CATILLAC CATS

While the opening name-checks Heathcliff, the theme is actually an indictment of The Catillac Cats. Operating out of a tetanus-infused junk yard, these felines greasers have been inciting anarchy by “playing pranks on everyone.” But the singer is quick to reframe them as “charming” and debonair” and, smitten by their outsider “cattitude” (not sure how that’s not a lyric), prefers to “join in their jubilee” of trash can dining.

These cats are bad boys. And “bad boys” were the pet of choice for beat turning rhythm hostage Gloria Estefan. In fact, the video for her song “Bad Boys” is basically the after hour antics of these same lyrics. She would have taken the Heathcliff out of Heathcliff’s theme and fetishized every other Furry that an opposite could attract.

4) SATURDAY SUPERCADE

For quarter jockeys at the local arcade, “Supercade Time” was specifically their time. And that envy of “no one else can do it better” was further stoked by the lyrical promise of “fun, Fun FUN.” Sure, it might have seemed a little cultish. But that 8 bit Thetan assured us that “it feels alright” and, again, that it had “fun, Fun, FUN.” So, yeah, after taking in this Kool-Aid commercial, IT WAS SUPERCADE TIME!

And what better way to be woken than the computer glitch crooning of a Rick Ocasek alarm clock.

He and his band The Cars performed SHAKE IT UP as a subliminal message of spastic devotion. “Dance all night,” they chanted, “ play all day don't let nothin' get in the way.” Just the type of neon assurance required to get your video friends together. With no escape. And without a scream (I am now drastically rethinking the “our song” designation of “You Might Think”).

3) BEVERLY HILLS TEENS

Beverly Hills was an inconceivable land, glimpsed only in street signs etched with words like “TROOP” and “DOWN AND OUT .” So, if you were a latch key kid looking to ignore the Regan era class struggle, who better to hang with than trust fund kids who made out with robots and bathed in the back of a limousine. Plus, at least one of them was in The Bangles, right?

If Beverly Hills already seemed exotic, what was one to make of the Nile and Kremlin in “Walk Like An Egyptian?” The Bangles were the perfect partners to “dance into the night.” And since they practically already recorded this theme song, it would only take a few more frames of animation to get your full video.

VIDEO TO RADIO (THEME FROM KIDD VIDEO)

Kids on keyboards. Kids on drums. Kids on affordable cocaine. This fast paced bravado is what it felt like to lip synch alone in your parent’s basement. “Hi-tech just turns me on” you’d shout, just wet to be playing anything. And with “colors … changing fast” and your bodily system pretty “hot now” there’s a high chance your folks would find tragedy when they came down to change the laundry.

So why not give this “Groove Machine” one to grow on with the cleaner living of DeBarge.

DeBarge knew “this ain’t no time to be stayin’ home,” in some dank, dark practice space. They’d lure you into the street with a healthier mainline of Rhythm of The Night. Out in the fresh air they could take your video from the radio and place it in a more communal space. Then you could “forget about the worries on your mind” and just focus on the D.T.s.

1) THEME FROM M.A.S.K.

This song is about passing through the Danger Zone, staring down the Eye Of The Tiger and achieving victory with The Touch. It starts with the orientating lull of a synthesizer, making sure your mind is clear of anything that could distract it from being blown.

“Working overtime, fighting crime ” assures a stellar voice while some robot prompts the chorus. As laser beams start to fire this same voice begins to questions reality and “what lies behind the masquerade.” He can barely keep himself from shouting “yeah” over and over, this psychs you up to a certifiable level, it all keeps building, everyone wants another verse and that voice that is so triumphantly singing every word just might as well reveal itself as …

Steve Perry of Journey.

Consider how “Don’t Stop Believing” could play as the perfect companion to this piece about cars that can fly without being robots or something. Every instrument is playing to its hilt and every verse is impassioned with the meaning Meatloaf wished he possessed.

Then there’s the lyrics to “Be Good To Yourself.” I had arranged them for a side by side comparison and now, only three mouse clicks later, can’t discern which is which.

How far more enthralling would that Honorable Mention at the Ultimate Frisbee Ribbon Ceremony have been if backed by a rendition of “ILLUSION IS THE ULTIMATE WEAPON (THEME FROM M.A.S.K.)” by the makers of JOURNEY’S GREATEST HITS (1988), Journey?

It all boggles the mind, brandishes goose bumps and leaves one to wonder. Just imagine the altered landscape in an alternate reality of a waylaid Freddy Mercury crossing paths with a delayed John Lipton both on their on way to a pitch meeting with the composer of THUNDERCATS. Hoooo… indeed.

About thE author

TIM BLEVINS is a multiple podcaster, left-handed hairstyle and next to last star fighter.
-SUBSCRIBE to his podcasts 20TH CENTURY POP! & MÉNAGE Á POP.
-Talk to him on TWITTER @subcultist, see him on INSTAGRAM @subcultist & read more of his writing here on the NOT A HOLOGRAMS website.