This Is Not Your Planet." That’s the title of the graphic novel I’m currently writing? The question mark is there because I'm actually in the process of PRE-writing which, basically , means … brainstorming? Formulating? Trying out titles? In short, it’s not fully realized.
MATRIX OF ENTITLEMENT
The post-college template of Rodimus Prime.
I was in the theater when Optimus Prime died. I had no chaperone and no moment to mourn as there was still 58 minutes of TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE to thrill through. So it wasn’t until they returned to their daily TV schedule that I even realized the Autobots would need a new leader. And, as demonstrated by the discount bin at Kay Bee Toys, kids were not a fan.
FLUX PROTAGONIST
Predestination verses free will in the original BACK TO THE FUTURE.
Some call it science fiction, others teen comedy but, regardless of genre, Back To The Future is one of the most beloved trilogies of the 20th Century. But beneath its bright nostalgia ticks a darker time piece about lack of choice and the prison of predestination.
AN OUTRAGEOUS CONTAGION
How the neon flash of Jem and The Holograms helped validate Tim’s current life choices.
At eleven years old I wanted to be Jem. To be clear, I didn’t want to date her (my pre-puberty emissions were already a-washed over the Prime-adjacent chassis of Elita-1), rather, this idolization stemmed from the animated lifestyle this drawing of a person lived.
DRESSIN' SHARP AND FEELIN' DULL
Sort of how THE REPLACEMENTS defined Tim’s 90s dissent.
Prior to college, “DON’T TELL A SOUL” was my favorite Replacements album. From it came the song I thought most defined me in that mid-teens moment: “I’ll Be You” (which is odd , given its a song about swapping personas). And, while their career had spanned the near entirety of the ‘1980s, it was also the only Replacements album I knew.
ATTACK OF THE CRAWLS
Ranking each installment of the Skywalker saga based only on the opening text.
We all have our favorite Star Wars, our less favorite Star Wars and a mental arrangement for each episode in between. That criteria might be based on when we saw it, the art design within it or even the toys we got from it. But imagine if all you had to go on was the shared method of narration that opens each film. How do the nine chapters in the Skywalker saga rank when based solely off each film’s opening crawl?
REY'S PRECURSOR
How the original Star Wars trilogy plays as prequel
To many of us, Star Wars is the tale of Luke Skywalker,. But following its prequels, the story could also be viewed as the fall and salvation of his father, Anakin. Now, with its third trilogy, Star Wars has presented another protagonist for a new generation. So, with that in mind, it is curious to consider how the original Episodes now play out as prequels
HAVING JUST SEEN ISHTAR
The Epic Tale of Ishtar (But It’s The One With Warren Beatty) PART TWO
I just finished watching ISHTAR and the load bearing pillar to my temple has collapsed, leaving three and a half decades of belief in ruin. As it tuned out, I found ISHTAR funny. I found ISHTAR entertaining. Yes, I found parts of it culturally insensitive (specifically that auction scene) but what I did not find ISTHAR to be was guilty of its stranglehold on bad cinema. And for that, I apologize.
HAVING NEVER SEEN ISHTAR
The Epic Tale of Ishtar (But It’s The One With Warren Beatty) PART ONE
I just spent 4 dollars to stream ISHTAR. I thought it was streaming for free but, apparently, not on any of the services I pay for. I haven’t watched it yet. I actually have never even seen it. And its not like its a required topic for next week’s podcast so, being unemployed and budgeting for the impending winter, just what do I hope to achieve in watching ISHTAR?
SINGLE SEASON SAGAS
Ten Full-on ‘80s Cartoons That Could Only Last One Season
Not a day in the 80s went by without tuning in to some robot in disguise, highly trained special mission force or other person’s Little Pony. And while their adventures broadcast throughout my childhood, there was also the occasional series that aired once, then disappeared. And while those programs may not have earned the reverence of an Inspector Gadget, they were still fairly accurate time capsules of the decade.
FROM MY VIDEO TO MY MEMOREX
Cartoon theme songs and the pop stars who should have sang them.
‘80s cartoons gave us the most memorable, hummable and “Woo-hoo-able” ear worms of all time. So imagine if these tunes escaped their syndicated patterns and took up residence on an album of that era. But which recording artists would have even been capable of harnessing such jingles for Casey Kasem’s countdown?
GOO GOO DOLLED OUT
That time Tim played "Before it's Too Late" two times in a row.
I embarrassingly just had an emotional break down to a Goo Goo Dolls song. Not because of the Goo Goo Dolls song. It just happened to be on and at the right length to cover most of my shouting. Angry, angry ,ANGRY shouting spawned from some deep sobs that have been gripping in my chest for two weeks. Holding back from coming out. Sort of like my fandom for this Goo Goo Dolls song.
ALL THE PETTY THINGS
When raging against the medium finally seems indulgent.
“Last Dog And Pony Show” isn’t available on Google Play. “Night Of The Comet” is streaming on Tubi, but that’s with commercial interruptions every 30 minutes. I downloaded the Marvel Unlimited app for reading old issues of “Dazzler”… unless those issues number past 12. These digital limitations that once seemed like conjurer’s magic sure are disproportionately frustrating.
CAROLINE INDISCRETION
The sitcom harbinger of an apocalyptic pandemic.
It’s hard to write this post with an episode of ”Caroline In The City” playing in the background. Its from season three, which is discernible by the hairstyle of Caroline’s Best Friend Who Is In Cats. As this friend enters the apartment, her first line is greeted by a sarcastic retort from that Actor Who is Not Chris Eigeman from Last Days Of Disco.